Tuesday, March 06, 2007

It's Being A Slice

Alliance-Atlantis has rebranded their lifestyle channel The Life Network, adjusting the format overnight as if it was a radio station. I had assumed the name change was at the behest of Time Warner (who you would think must have the rights to a channel called Life) but no, they've reimagineered the channel as simply Slice™ - "guilty pleasure" TV for young women - reality shows, makeover miracles, gossip and shopping. This rebranding is merely a chemical peel - the existing Life Network's programming schedule is fairly identical to what Slice™ offers.

Here is a list of the names Alliance was considering for this new channel - 100% true!
1. Girly TV
2. Sassafras
3. Tickle TV
4. The Jaunty Network
5. Go Girl
6. You Go Girl
7. Lahdeedah

What is Slice™? The people at Alliance-Atlantis will tell you.
"We went and talked to women about what they really wanted to watch on TV and what we heard was that they wanted TV that was confident, irreverent, and just pure entertainment, that simply addictive stuff that allows them to escape for the moment from a day that is filled with everyone else's needs,"
It is pretty hard to find this kind of programming on television, I will admit.
“The key to Slice™ shows is this – do they satisfy a guilty pleasure? Will viewers laugh, love the characters, hate the characters, yell at the screen? If yes, they have a spot on Slice™...With an original blend of the hottest competition formats and docu-soaps, Slice™ programming will be unapologetically entertaining, generating water cooler conversations week after week and we have no doubt viewers will be completely riveted.”
Thank God - no more talk about the war from Brenda Bringdown over at the water cooler.

But for all this aggressive Planet Normalcy, I detect at the same time a pinch, a soupçon of sociopathic hipster irreverence driving the marketing campaign...not only is the slogan "My Vice is Slice™" but also the series of subway posters are shocking in their open contempt towards the commuting demographic - pictures of slack-jawed female cubicle dweller types with cruel captions underneath announcing their ignorance, such as: "If I wanted to feel smarter, I'd watch a book."

Example photo to come.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Awesome. I love what goes on behind closed doors in marketing. Sassafras and Tickle TV? AWESOME.

Jesse said...

You Go, Girl!

Colin said...

I go away from this city for 10 days and come back to discover that is has turned stupid. every time I see the subway ad of "If I wanted to feel smarter, I'd watch a book," i feel just sick... am I living in ignorant bliss not having cable?