Soon going to the multiplex to see a movie will be like an elaborate re-enactment of a typical evening of channel surfing in 1979, what with the recent news that Ice Cube is fronting a big-screen remake of Welcome Back Kotter (sic), which may come out around the same time as a just-announced film version of Dallas, starring the former Vinnie Barbarino himself as J.R. Ewing, and perhaps J. Lo as Sue Ellen.
This new version of Dallas is kicking up some dust with the somewhat underwhelming news that the film will be shot in Toronto. This don't go down well with the people at the Texas film commission. But I'm confused. Where in Toronto could you find the equivalent to the Southfork ranch, or those giant oil fields? Wouldn't it make more sense, if they're going to shoot the film in Canada, to do it out west? Wouldn't the skyline of Edmonton or Calgary better approximate big city Texas? I expect public opinion to swing around and this Dallas will wind up filming down south after all. I mean, come on - Dallas is as American as violence and cherry pie.
As long as the studio heads figure people want to go out to the movies to watch TV, what's next on the remake conveyor belt? Highway To Heaven with Kevin Costner? How about Johnny Knoxville in BJ & The Bear?
In honour of a possible Can-Con Dallas, here is the French language version's opening title theme - vive le difference!