Thursday, August 24, 2006

Doesn't Anyone in Hollywood Know How To Play Lemonade?

Snakes on a Plane, the final big movie of the summer, finally came out last weekend and died a surprisingly quiet death, considering its unheard-of name recognition and the ceaseless, web-generated hype. It made 15 million dollars. It narrrowly beat out Talledega Nights for the number one post on the box office chart, pushed through by its late Thursday night special sneak preview numbers. That has to be considered a bit of a shocker. But I saw it coming.

If I was running New Line, I would have rolled it out between April and June; it would have made a fortune! I think that was back when people cared, when people were psyched about the idea. That was back when people would have gone out to see it whether or not all their friends told them it sucked. In fact, I probably would have gone to see it.

Doesn't anyone in Hollywood have a VIC-20? Hasn't anyone ever played Lemonade? If it's going to be hot and sunny next weekend, load up on the lemons and sugar, jack up the selling price and wait for the thirsty people to show up. Don't wait until just before Labour Day.

Let me put it in some perspective. Here are some 2006 releases that had bigger opening weekends than SoaP: Tim Allen's The Shaggy Dog, RV, Barnyard: The Original Party Animals, Little Man and Nanny McPhee. And none of these films had a catchphrase.

Fun fact: Hong Kong crazy man Ronny Yu (The Bride With White Hair) was the original director; he was replaced by David R. Ellis, who directed another film with a ridiculous title: Final Destination 2.

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